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GEORGE W. BUSH
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if
the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or
it is against us. There is no middle ground here.
COLIN POWELL
Now at the left of the screen, you clearly see the satellite image of the
chicken crossing the road.
HANS BLIX
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed
access to the other side of the road.
MOHAMMED ALDOURI (Iraq ambassador)
The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. We don't
even have a chicken.
SADDAM HUSSEIN
This crossing of the road was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite
justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on the chicken.
RALPH NADER
The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by
unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the
unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by
the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.
PAT BUCHANAN
To
steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.
RUSH LIMBAUGH
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a
government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out there
is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road
syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans
take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by tax dollars, and when
I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took
from you to build roads for chickens to cross.
MARTHA STEWART
No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing
order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price
dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain
truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other
side." That's what they call it -- the other side. Yes, my friends, that
chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay
too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that
the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other
side."
DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes,
the
chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed, I've not been told!
ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die
in
the rain. Alone.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I
envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without
having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that
the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for
us.
BARBARA WALTERS
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the chicken
tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it
experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its life-long
dream of crossing the road.
JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.
COL. SANDERS
What? I missed one????
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